Chloe

As the Uber pulls into the driveway, my stomach sinks. My childhood home looks the same, but everything feels different. I can honestly say I’m only looking forward to seeing Squeaks, my cat.

I quickly tip the Uber and slide out. I wipe my sweaty palms on my jeans and take a deep breath. The November chill seeps into my bones, and I tug my fleece tightly around me as I carefully walk up the pathway to the front door.

It’s two days after Thanksgiving. Don’t ask me how Tyler and I managed to get a flight out here, but somehow, we did. Holiday weekend and all.

I take a deep breath, the air burning my lungs as I reach the door. I don’t open it yet. Just a minute is needed to calm these pesky nerves of mine.

When, in reality, what I’m really doing is stalling.

A part of me wishes Tyler was here, but no, I need to do this alone. Just like he’s taking care of his business. The whole point of this visit.

Why is it so hard to converse with the people I’ve known my whole life- my family?

It’s like I’m standing on a stranger’s doorstep for all my body knows… my heart racing as if I’m about to enter an unknown secret chamber of doom or something.

I laugh to myself, which gives me enough courage to open the door, but just as I reach for the handle, it swings open, and there stands Drew.

“Hey.” He steps aside and waves me in.

“Hi,” I answer and walk past him, grateful for the warm air that immediately assaults my face. The smell of apples and cinnamon instantly fills my nose, and my hopes lift just a little.

Smells like how I remember from when I was a little girl.

Is Mom baking again?

I shrug my coat off, along with my hat, scarves, and boots, knowing Mom will complain otherwise, and follow Drew into the kitchen.

Mom is, in fact, baking, much to my surprise, and when she turns around, it’s as if a huge weight has been lifted off my chest and I can breathe a little better than a moment ago. She looks good—happy and healthy. And she has on her favorite apron!

“Wow, Mom! Look at you! It smells amazing in here.”

Squeaks circles my feet, and I reach down to pick him up, cuddling him close. “Hey, buddy! I missed you.” He purrs, and the noise vibrates against my skin.

Mom beams at both Drew and I, and my shoulders relax more. Okay, so maybe this visit won’t be so bad, after all.

But I need to tread lightly. The last thing we need is more fighting.

I haven’t talked to either of them except a few scant texts here and there since school started. But when Drew asked me to come for Thanksgiving, I felt bad because I had already made plans with Tyler and our group of friends. I’m ready to make up and move on.

That is if Drew’s ready to grow up and let me date whoever I want. As far as my mom goes, hopefully she’s cut out the dating and is dealing with her grief in a healthier way. Not that I have a problem with her dating. I just think she needs more time to heal.

Dad’s death was such a shock to us all. It’s like we’ve been living in denial all these years since it happened. At least I have been. And it seems like Mom and Drew have been too.

“Hope you’re hungry for some apple pie,” Mom says as she hurries over to me and pulls me into a hug. Squeaks makes a dive for it, only handling so much affection before he dips. I see Drew watching from the corner of my eye, but his face is unreadable. “I missed you, Lo. Sit, let me get you a drink.”

Mom busies herself with getting me a drink as I slide onto one of the barstools at our kitchen island. Drew sits across from me, and I’d be lying if I said it wasn’t awkward.

I want to say something, but unsure where to start, I’m at a loss for words.

Thankfully, Mom breaks the ice after placing our drinks down. “Now that you both are here, let’s chat,” she says as she slides onto the third barstool. Only Dad’s stool remains, and my heart aches when I think about how he used to always sit there. More than the dining room table which he always said was too stuffy and formal.

“First, I want to thank you both for coming. I know things have been shitty since Dad died, and there’s no excuse for my behavior, but grief took hold of me and turned me into this person I didn’t even recognize.” She pauses for a moment and swallows, her lip trembling. “I was an awful mother, and I wish I could go back and change things.” She reaches out and squeezes each of our hands. “But we all know life doesn’t work that way. All we can do is move forward. Starting with a huge I’m sorry.”

Drew stands and walks around the island, embracing Mom in a big hug. “It’s all good, Ma. I forgive you. We all miss Dad.”

Mom’s crying now, and I take both of her hands in mine. “I forgive you, too.” Nerves swarm in my belly, and I want to say what I need to say, but it’s like my brain can’t find the words. I open my mouth, but nothing comes out, so I close it.

“I’m in therapy now, and I’ve stopped dating. Doing a lot of self-care is what helps the most. But I miss you two so much.”

“Maybe it’s time to sell this place and move you out to California,” Drew says as he sits back down.

Wow. I wasn’t expecting that. Mom looks just as surprised, and when her eyes find mine, I offer her a smile, unsure how to react. Does she even want to move out west?

“Maybe…but I don’t know.” She wrings her hands together. “I’ve lived here my whole life…”

“It’s just an idea, Ma,” Drew says, and Mom visibly relaxes.

“I know. It’s definitely something to consider. Anyway, enough about me. How are you both doing?”

I’m grateful for the change in subject, but does she even know Drew and I haven’t been speaking? I haven’t told her anything, and I wonder if Drew has. I don’t even know how their relationship has been. But judging from Mom’s apology, I assume they haven’t been talking much, either.

“I’m alright. California is good, but the band is stressful.” He ends it there, and now all eyes are on me.

That’s all he says?

Dammit.

“How’re things with Mable?” Mom asks Drew. Good. More time to think of what I’m gonna say.

Drew responds with a general we’re fine, no elaboration, and I try to read his expression. Are things really fine, or is he just saying that? But I don’t have long to wonder because now the attention is fully on me.

“I’m great. I love Sierra Cove and school. I’ve met lots of great people, too.” I end it there because I’m not about to bring up Tyler. I figured Drew would’ve said something by now, and I wonder if my mom even remembers me telling her.

“And what about Tyler?”

Well, I guess she does remember.

I already feel the tension radiating off Drew without needing to look at him. But I forge ahead because Mom’s encouraging smile keeps me going.

“We’re good. Really good.” Heat creeps up my neck as my body fills with warmth at the thought of him. We’re so happy. Our friends make fun of us, but who cares.

I keep my eyes on Mom, not daring to look at Drew’s reaction. Her’s is enough. Her whole face is lit up, and she’s reaching out for my hands again. I can’t remember the last time we were so affectionate with each other. “I’m so happy for you, Lo. I’m sorry I wasn’t accepting before. You can’t help who you love, and all that matters is that you’re happy.”

“Thank you.”

Drew’s still quiet, and I sigh, unable to hide it any longer.

“What’s going on between you two?” Mom asks just as the oven timer goes off.

Now’s the time. Just say it. Open your mouth and say it. “Drew doesn’t approve of my relationship with Tyler.”

There. Done.

I keep my eyes off Drew even though I can feel his gaze burning into the side of my face.

Mom pulls the pie out of the oven, and with it comes the delicious smell of baked apples and cinnamon. My mouth waters. I didn’t realize how much I missed it. “I can see where you’re coming from Drew, but Chloe needs to make her own choices. And you can’t help who your heart chooses to love.”

“Yeah, I know,” Drew grumbles.

“If Tyler breaks Chloe’s heart, then you have every right to be upset. But for now, we have to accept Chloe’s decision. Besides, the Reed family are good people. Having a disease doesn’t change that. Something your father had trouble seeing.”

Drew doesn’t say anything, and neither do I. Mom’s never talked about the past much with the Reed family. Dad and Tyler’s dad used to be really close. But when their mom was killed by a drunk driver, Dad thought their dad should quit drinking. But he didn’t. He only got worse. And then Levi started. And it was all downhill. So it makes sense why they wouldn’t want me with Tyler. But like Mom said, I need to make my own decisions. And Drew needs to respect them.

“I’m sorry for the way I acted, Lo,” Drew says, breaking the silence. “I still don’t love the relationship, but you have my support.”

A rush of happiness runs through me, and I can’t help jumping off the stool and running over to give him a hug. “I forgive you for being a jerk,” I say, and we both laugh.

It feels so good to no longer be fighting. It’s like a huge weight has disappeared.

Soon, we’re all laughing and digging into warm apple pie, a slice even served to dear old Dad, who I know is sitting on his stool in spirit.

***

Tyler

I arrive home to an empty house. A quick call to my uncle delivers bad news.

“Why didn’t you call me?” I ask as I unlock the door. The house is quiet, cold, and dark. I flip on some lights but suddenly wish I didn’t. I’m not even listening to my uncle anymore.

All I can see is the mess. Garbage everywhere, mostly beer cans and pizza boxes.

“Wait, hold on. When was the last time you came by the house?”

“Just last week. Walked into a huge mess. I cleaned up while your dad sat there. I told him then if he didn’t cut the shit, I was calling the cops.”

“Can you tell me what happened again? I was too distracted by the fucking mess,” I grumble.

“Shit, it’s a mess again? Fuck. I’ll come by and clean it up. A few days later, I called in a wellness check since he wasn’t answering my calls or texts. Sure enough, they found him passed out and covered in vomit.”

“How long is rehab this time?”

“I’m not sure, kid. They wouldn’t tell me much. I meant to call you, and I’m sorry I didn’t. I didn’t want to deliver bad news right before the holiday. But if I’d known you’d planned a trip, I would’ve.”

“It’s alright, you didn’t know. It was a last-minute thing Chloe and I did. I just wanted to stop in and was hoping to see him. California is great, but I worry about him all alone. And it looks like I should be.”

“I know. But try not to. I’ll make sure he’s either sober or somewhere where he’s getting sober. Maybe it’s time to sell the house and move into a sober home.”

The thought hits me straight in the gut. Selling the house we grew up in? That house holds all the wonderful memories from my childhood before the horrible accident that ruined everything. The last place my mother lived, breathed air, and laughed her infectious laughter.

It cuts deeper than I expect.

But I know my dad needs more help than any of us can offer. And sober housing may be what he needs to finally get out from under the bottle.

“Yeah, maybe. Listen, I’m gonna clean up a bit and head out. Can Dad take calls or visitors?”

“Not for the first thirty days at least. I’ll give him a heads-up next time I talk to him.”

“Alright, thanks.” I end the call. It’s like a black cloud forms above my head. Will Dad ever get sober? Dammit, I hope so.

I take a deep breath and get to work. After a half hour, all the garbage is bagged up, and I take it outside, placing it on the curb for pickup.

I tidy up as much as I can, and then I request an Uber. But before I head back to the hotel to meet Chloe for dinner, I decide to make a quick stop. The Uber driver agrees to wait for me for an extra charge.

Don, my previous boss, gave me his address once, he told me in case of an emergency, and I never needed it till now.

When I get to his front door, though, I wonder what I was thinking, my stomach swirling with nerves. I knock and wait. I’m just here to say hi. What’s with the anxiety?

But it isn’t Don who opens the door. It’s a woman. Who I assume is his wife, but maybe I’m wrong. “Hey, is Don around? I used to work with him at his auto shop.”

“Hi, I’m sorry, but Don doesn’t live here anymore.”

“Oh, crap, I’m sorry. Thanks for your time.” I wave and turn to go.

“Wait, what was your name again?”

“It’s Tyler. Tyler Reed. I worked at Don’s shop.”

Her face breaks out into a warm smile. “Ah, yes, Tyler. He’s told me lots about you.”

“He did?”

She nods. “I’m Linda. His sister. He often talked about you. He was really proud. You were like the son he never had.”

Wow. Her words hit me square in the chest. I didn’t know he felt that way.

“He’s a great guy. I miss working with him. Tell him I came by, alright?”

“Wait right there. He wanted me to give you something should you ever come by.”

She disappears into the house before I can ask what, and she returns moments later with an envelope. “Take care, Tyler,” she says as she hands it over.

I wait until I arrive back at the hotel to open it. Chloe isn’t back yet, another hour until dinner, and I rip into it as soon as I’m in the room.

It’s a handwritten letter. From Don.

Tyler-

I hope this letter finds you sooner rather than later. I figured you’d be home eventually to visit, and I told my sister if you didn’t come by next summer, then to hunt down your address and mail this to you.

You’re an awesome young man, Tyler, and I know you’ll grow into a strong, hardworking guy. I’m happy to have met you, to have taught you and guided you.

And I know how much you love that girl. Keep on loving her, Ty. She deserves it, and so do you. A life together in California is something dreams are made of.

Which is why my brother, who owns his own mechanic shop in northern Cali, wants to retire and give the shop to you. I know you’re the perfect person for the job and my brother trusts my opinion. He retires at the end of next summer. So you have time to decide. On the next page, you’ll find his contact info, along with the shop’s info.

And where am I, are you wondering?

Well me- I got some bad news. The dreaded c-word. So I’m headed off to travel the world. Keep fixin’ those engines, Ty.

The world needs a mechanic like you. Reliable and hardworking.

To all your success,

Don

By the time I finish, tears are leaking down my cheeks. He’s dying of cancer? His brother is giving me my own mechanic shop?

It’s all too much.

The letter falls to the ground as my head falls into my hands. I try to wrap my brain around it all, but I can’t.

How can I feel happy when the news of him having cancer is like a huge blow to the gut?

But a shop of my own?

A shop of my own…

The door opens, and there stands my girl.

And suddenly, I need her in my arms.

Now.

I rush over and take her into my arms. She must sense my emotions because she wraps her arms around me tight.

“I missed you,” she whispers against my cheek.

“Not as much as I missed you.”

“Mmm, kiss me, then.”

I do as she says, and I love how she doesn’t need words. Just love and affection. We can fill each other in on the other crap later. I hope her visit was better than mine, to say the least.

But for now, our mouths connect, our hands roam, and we get lost in each other.

When we fall onto the bed together, the rest of the world melts away. “I love you, Goody.”

“I love you more, Ty.”

“Not possible.”

“Yes, it is.”

“Nope.” I quickly kiss her before she can say another word.

She’s all I need.

Her. My shop. California.

Perfection.